I would like to ask
everyone a favor. I have debated whether to continue to
send anything further on my personal struggle after
the death of Linda. What is being said is not just
about me, but what any given person experiences who has
the loss of someone in their lives. What is being sent
will be in the book published on what has taken place.
Of course you aren't obligated to receive anything I
say, and all one has to do is to let me know.
Please take into
consideration what someone is going through when
grieving. It is easy to give advice, with little
understanding of the impact a death has on someone.
An individual wrote
yesterday, offering a particular Bible verse. When
I wrote back and stated I hoped to appreciate what is means
someday, but it is difficult at this time because of
grieving, he responded by saying not to complain to him,
but to tell God. It was stated that God apparently
can't offer what is needed and therefore he no longer
wants to receive what I write. Amazing how people don't
understand grief, but can give advice. Reminds me a bit
of what happened with Job when his "friends"
pointed out one fault after another that they thought he
had, but God let it be known they didn't have a clue as
to what they were talking about when everything was said
and done.
The person grieving simply
needs time, but others can feel a good mini-sermon
is needed by using scriptures. This quite honestly
is beginning to anger me a bit. I don't want to
be preached at and yet perhaps this is the risk taken
when being so open. I also don't like pep talks such as
that I shouldn't try to think about it too much and to
stay busy.
Please, everyone. This only
causes more problems. I have, however, received
quite a few emails with words of condolences, with a
real sense of understanding, but it is the ones that are
unrealistic that really bother me.
I'll give further thought
as to whether I plan to send out any more updates. It
never ceases to amaze me as to how many people
there are that simply don't understand death and grief,
and if anyone is experiencing it, an obligation is felt
to preach or give a pep talk. I am convinced this is an
area many simply have no understanding of and
when it happens to them in a very personal way, they
will have a very difficult time handling it. Only then
will they realize just how out of touch some comments
are. Perhaps what they have said in the past will
come back to haunt them.
Best Regards,
Richard
