Richard, I was never able to tell you what I wanted to say before I died. I have now sent you the words in a very special letter I have written just for you.

 

I miss you. I couldn’t tell you how much I appreciated your sacrifice when you spent so many hours by my side. We developed a special bond as never before. Everyday, when I was sick, I was at least able to tell you that I loved you. I wanted to say more, but the pain was too great.

 

I know you cried so much for me day after day and all I can say is how much it hurt to see you devastated by what I was going through. I know you now shed many tears without me. They have fallen like rain. I also want to hold you and let you know how much I love you, but we both know this is not possible.

 

I know you sit and close your eyes and think of me. I want you to know that I am always next to you. You have grieved so much over how much I suffered, but my greatest desire is for you to remember me as I once was.

 

Remember our wedding day. You have the picture sitting on the bookcase. Although I suffered many health problems in the last few years, the picture you constantly look at is one in which you can always remember me by.

 

I remember the words you said to me just before I died. You always let me know how much I meant to you, no matter how I looked. I couldn’t understand how you still called me your queen and the most beautiful woman in the world, but I can’t tell you how much I needed to hear the words. I felt so worthless because of how thin I was from the cancer. You always, however, kept telling me how beautiful my eyes were and how I was the only one for you. How I wish I could have said something back, but at least we were able to spend many hours together before I became too ill to talk to you.

 

I know it was so difficult to let me go when I died. You stood by my side with the family, held my hand, and said a prayer on my behalf before I was taken away. You followed me as I was placed in the hearse and kissed me on the lips before I left and told me how much you loved me. I am glad it was dark so no one could see me leave this way. I know it was hard for you to go back into the house as I was driven off. Part of you went with me and I know you have a special place for me in your heart as well.

 

At least now I am no longer in pain. We will see each other again and I do look forward to spending eternity with you. Thank you, Richard, for being with me to the very end and sharing your life with me for 21 short years. I know your pain is great, but I can now rest. Just remember to stay faithful to God and we will see each other again. I love you and look forward to the day when your tears of sorrow will be turned into tears of joy.