Christian Marriage & Submission

by Peggy McIlveene (2/24/08)

Click on thumbnail for larger image. Inspired art found HERE

This article is mostly to my sisters in Yahshua, though it's fine for men to read, too, since I will be addressing some issues in respect to husbands in a relationship. I've seen a very dangerous trend in the works since I was a teenager in the Baby Boomer days (60's), and it's gotten worse and worse as time goes by.  It regards a wife's relationship with her husband.  It was in the 60's that the "free love" era began.  Traditional moral values went down the drain. Married or not, we tended to sleep around... the husband AND the wife.  Yet Hebrews 13:4 tells us: "Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.".

We didn't care for authority back then, didn't respect our parents, our elders and those in charge, our bosses, or anyone else.  It's worse today.  But the laws that the Lord set into effect when He created Eve for Adam are STILL in effect, like it or not. In Malachi 3:6, He tells us, "I, the Lord, do not change.". What He said in the beginning, will always be unless He changes it Himself.

God is #1, the husband is #2, and the children are #3. The Lord set family relationships up this way, because this is the way it works best.

He says that marriage is like Yahshua and the Church. How did Yahshua treat the Church, brothers?  He loved/loves the Church so much, He gladly lay down His life for us.  He adores us, He loves us with an enduring love, He respects us, He honors us, just as you are to do with your wife.

And wives, if Yahshua were standing in front of you, and He told you to do so-and-so, would you stand there and argue with Him, or would you instinctively know that what He told you to do (or NOT do, as the case may be) was for your own good and your own well-being.

Wives, you are to be SUBJECT to your husband in everything... notice he says EVERYTHING.  He gives no exceptions to His Word. The husband is the head of the family, just as Yahshua is head of the Church (Ephesians 5:22-24).

If you are unequally yoked with an unbeliever, you are still obliged to be subject to your husband, because as the Lord tells us, by your example, he may be won to the Lord (I Corinthians 7:16).  The Lord even tells us that if the husband doesn't treat his wife right, we are still to be subject to him, and that He (the Lord) will take care of the problem.

The only exception is if the husband asks his wife to do something that is contrary to what Father Yahweh sets forth in His Word.  

I firmly believe these are some of the primary reasons why marriages fail so often these days:

• The refusal of wives to obey their husbands.

• Husbands and wives not loving and adoring one another. In fact, most don't even LIKE each other, I've noticed!

• Wives putting their children first in their lives, above their husband (and in some cases, the husband putting the children above his wife).

• Infidelity in a marriage.

• A wife's lack of desire to submit to her husband.

• A husband's lack of desire to submit to the Lord in all things.

• A husband's lack of respect for the importance of their wives in the marriage.

• A husband's refusal to put his wife's desires above his own, and vice versa.

I am teased and prodded about "letting Richard run my life", but you know what?  Father Yahweh is proud of my acquiescence, and is proud of the fact that Richard & I are best friends, that we adore one another, that we are faithful to one another, and that there is no one else on the face of this planet that we put above each other.  And as long as the Lord is happy with me, and Richard is happy with me, that's all that counts to me.  How can a wife be subject to the Lord if she can't even be subject to her own husband?

God knows, in my past, I've had two really horrible marriages that ended in divorce.  Neither marriage was chosen by the Lord, nor did I seek His face in either.  Therefore, both marriages were a disaster.

But the key to my 12-year marriage to Richard is that I learned from those mistakes, as Richard learned from his past bad relationships... now we KNOW what we have in one another.

Wives, if you are having trouble turning your will over to your husband, ask for the Lord's help.  And husbands, if you have trouble submitting your will and your family to the Lord, ask for His help. And above all, LOVE each other and enjoy each other.  Put your spouse's desires above your own. You will be surprised how smoothly your marriage will run if you can do these things.

BACK