Finally, I saw her! Trinity!
It happened today!!, October 16, 2005, at
8:30 am, 20 months, 7 days and 40 minutes later, after my daughters heavenly
ascent!!
As you all know, my beautiful daughter passed away Feb.9, 2004 at 7:50 a.m. at
Canuck Place, Children’s Hospice, in my arms, her last word was,
"bye" and gave us a little wave good bye with her left hand, all too
impossible for someone dying from the nastiest disease known to me. AML-M7 an
adult form of leukemia that is extremely rare in young children. To me
that was my little miracle in itself, the impossible, her last soft spoken word,
"bye", I still can’t believe it, but it is true!! Thank you
God for this Miracle!!
Knowing also that I have been on Ativan (tranquilizer; sleep aid) for over 2
years just to help me cope with the everyday stressors of living on a Cancer
ward, 24/7, in isolation through 2 chemo protocols, 2 remissions, 2 relapses,
one umbilical cord transplant, GVHD and ending up in hospice for 3 weeks, of
course, the medication helped then, but it did mess my CNS badly… I await my
healing from the medication side effects!!
What I didn’t like about Ativan is that it puts you in a very deep sleep.
I never ever dreamed!! Professor Heather Ashton Protocol has helped me to
wean off of these medications properly!!
*****I woke up after having the most
amazing dream of my life!!*****
I was visiting Trinity at her final resting place, like I always do, once a
week, I cut the lawn, and rake the leaves.
The next moment, all of a sudden, she was standing in front of me above her
headstone, wearing her favorite red long sleeve Old Navy top, and she approached
me by flying towards me at the speed of sound! She flew up into my arms
and held me ever sooooooooooooo tight! I just couldn’t believe what was
happening, and finally once I realized what was happening, I had the most
overwhelming sense of joy, love, peace, hope and sheer bliss!! It sent me
into a place that I thought never possible, the experience had no words!
It was absolutely incredible!
I was literally screaming with overwhelming joy, tears were flowing, it felt ever soooooooooo real!! *I physically could feel the strong embrace!* I have never experienced something so real before!! The reunion in my dream was so *powerful, so *vivid, so *beyond real, but definitely real!! I woke up crying, and ever so happy to have FINALLY, had a visit from my precious child, whom I haven’t seen in such a very, very, long time!!
I truly believe that if I hadn’t awakened from the noise in the next room on the morning of October 16, 2005, the rest of my dream would have been completed by both of us being raptured up into Heaven!! The Blessed Hope is so real to me; I await our authentic reunion to come! I await part 2 of my dream!!
It was an answer to my prayers, my wishes
of seeing her alive in Spirit and Healthy and Vibrant and still very much my 3
year old child!!
I wanted to share with you all, my joy today, a very *miracle in itself, a gift
to me, a sign for me to keep pressing on, to get through this withdrawal, and
also I see this as a promise of my Blessed Hope: 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18, that I
will see my baby again soon, one day soon!!
I never dream, thanks to the medication, and since I have less of it in my
system now, I look forward to many more, happy, joyful and vivid dreams of a
daughter whom, I thought I was slowly loosing memory of, especially as time
passes.
I thank God for this Dream, it has revived me!! It has given me more to
look forward to and also to get off of all mind numbing and mind blunting
benzodiazepines!! I will be completely free of this medication in March of
2006! PTL!
I hope that in this little Miracle Dream of my life it has brought a smile to
your face today!! The joy I experienced was a Gift to me, a Miracle
indeed! Thank you God for sending me such hope! Maranatha!
Elaine, Mother to my Angel Trinity!
www.trinitysdiary.com