The
day finally arrives; Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly
Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed and Forrest
approaches the Gatekeeper. St. Peter
says, "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot
about you. I must inform you that
the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance
examination for everyone. The tests are short but you have to pass them before
you can get into Heaven.
Forest
responds, "It shor is good to be here St. Peter, Sir. But nobody ever tolt
me about any entrance exam. Shor hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big
enough test as it was."
St.
Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.
Here is the first: What days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second:
How many seconds are there in a year? Third: What is God's first
name?"
Forrest
leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter
who waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the
questions over, tell me your answers."
Forrest
says, "Well, the first one-how many days in the week begin with the letter
"T? Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and Tomorrow."
The
Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest, that's not what I was
thinking, but... you do have a point though, and I guess I didn't specify, so
I'll give you credit for that answer."
How
about the next one?" asks St. Peter. "How many seconds in a
year?"
"Now
that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk about that
and I guess the only answer can be twelve."
Astounded,
St. Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you
come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
Forest
says, "Shucks, there gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March
2nd... "
"Hold
it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this, and I
see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind, but I'll have
to give you credit for that one, too. Let's go on with the next and final
question. Can you tell me God's first name"?
"Sure"
Forrest replied, "it's Andy." "Andy?!" exclaimed an
exasperated, frustrated St. Peter. "Ok, I can understand how you came up
with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you
come up with the name of Andy as the first name of God?"
"Shucks,
that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from
that song my Mama taught me. "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN......"
St.
Peter opened the gate and said: "Run, Forrest, run."