God, words are hard to express today. I keep searching for them, but only by writing down what is bothering me will I get through the day.

 

I feel at times as if You have gone somewhere. Is there someone else occupying Your time? Can I have Your attention for a moment? It won’t take long to write down what is bothering me.

 

My friends don’t like to see me grieve. It bothers me as well. I sometimes feel like a child looking for a guiding hand in order to get through so much heartache and pain. You are the only true guide and help during a time like this.

 

So many days seem the same. This house is so quiet. I miss seeing Linda each morning. She was the flower You gave to me. I know I have told You this so many times. I also know You want me to share this with You.

 

As I look outside, Your tears are falling today. They are watering the garden I am building in memory of Linda. Thank You for reminding me You are there. I know You remember Linda. She was faithful to You. Please help me to not give up. Sometimes I feel I easily can.

 

Help me to help others. I know there are so many people hurting because they have lost a loved one. Please don’t let all of this be for nothing. Please use me in some small way to encourage others. Help me to go beyond myself by understanding what it means to lose someone and to reach out and to let others know there is hope.

 

I don’t know what You have planned for me today. Sometimes as I look ahead, it seems so bleak. We were created to need one another. No one can survive alone. You promise to mend the broken hearted and to hear the prayers of those who are humble before You. This is my prayer to You today. I am doing the best I can to survive each moment. Would You please grant a bit of encouragement today? It is easy to be down because of so many tears.

 

I have come to see how weak I am. No matter how much I wanted Linda to live, You had other plans. Sometimes it is a mystery when it comes to how You do things. All I know is that You are aware of everyone who is mourning. Everyone is important to You. Please don’t forget me today as I blend in with so many other people who don’t know what I am going through. Please help others who are also hurting. What I am experiencing is not just about me. Perhaps in some small way I can let others know I care. Well, as You can see the tears are falling and I have to stop and wipe them.

 

Thank You for what I have learned. Thank You for the friends I have made. Thank You for just being there.

 

Sincerely,

Richard