God, I'm So Tired of Crying
by Richard Markland


God, it's the end of another day and I am so tired. I received photos of my wedding day this morning that I have never seen before. I cried so many tears as I looked at them. Just when I think I am recovering from so much sadness and grief on this journey, a setback comes and more tears are shed.
 
I still cry when I go to bed. My mind thinks so much about my life without Linda. The pain goes so deep and I know someday I won't cry so many tears, which flow so easily. If people only knew how much it hurts to lose someone. My love for Linda is why it is so hard to let go. My whole life was taking care of the one you gave to me.
 
I tire so easily. The day Linda died, so much of myself died with her. Healing is so difficult, but all I know is that you are the only true strength I have in order to get through this personal hell. If you weren't in my life, what would be the use.
 
You are the one who truly understands my grief and pain. You created love and you see so many people everyday who grieve for the loss of a loved one. You know how much I loved Linda. I thank you that I can tell others about her. She is why I now write poetry. She simply was the most beautiful flower you could have ever given to me. Thank you for the flowers you have created for the memorial garden I am building in Linda's honor.
 
How can the void I feel be replaced? How long must I feel a loneliness that few understand? I tell you daily how it feels, and I know I will someday understand how you have been working in my life, but sometimes you seem so far away.
 
Thank you God, for being so patient. Please don't give up on me. I know I sometimes feel lost, but only you can help me to stay the course. I know someday I will see Linda again, but would you please help me to heal soon. The crying is making me so tired and I am weary of so many tears.