Wednesday, April 6, 2005

6:45 a.m.

 

Yesterday, I went with my parents to the Dayton airport to meet my sister, who was flying in from Houston . I haven’t seen Barb for a few years and it will be nice to have family together for a few days. It is tragic, however, that her visit is because of Linda’s death.

 

As I sat and waited for the plane, I watched family members and friends meet one another. If only Linda would have turned the corner to meet me after a brief visit with her sister in Dallas . Of course it was just another fleeing thought when not dealing with reality. The feelings aren’t permitted to stay for very long.

 

It was another beautiful day and it is amazing how memories popped in my mind on the way to and from the airport when I would see certain places Linda and I went together in past years. It’s just one more aspect of this to deal with.

 

I am gong back to work today. It has to be done. Why take the whole week off if the memorial service on Sunday will disrupt any sense of normalcy I am trying to maintain? It won’t be any easier next week, so I may as well start today.

 

I’ll be attending my first grief counseling session this afternoon at 4:00 . I never considered attending one of these while Linda was sick, but if I don’t, pride will be the main reason. The important thing is not to depend on the sessions as a crutch. Moving on with life is important, but not to move forward to fast.

 

I am going to start writing of this experience for the book I have been planning. Anything I am sending to others in the form of daily updates has mistakes that need to be corrected. I want people to know who Linda was and how she isn’t just another statistic. I realize her memory will fade in the minds of many people as this ordeal is put behind by those familiar with what has happened. Linda will never be a mere statistic in my life. She will always be a part of me. People did not know Linda as I did and still do.