One
of the small concerns I have had is how
soon do I make changes in the house after
Linda died. The following scenario is 25 years from
now when I finally take a big step forward, at
least I think so. One of the first thoughts that also came
to mind when Linda died was whether I would be balanced
without her, or whether I would do things that would reflect
just how much I need her in order to let me know if I am
becoming a bit strange in my own way. Cooking has
also never been one of my specialties.
I
can't sleep well. I keep thinking of unresolved issues
in my mind.
Well,
what I did yesterday may not seem like such a
big step forward to others, but after talking
with my grief counselor at Hospice, I decided to finally put
my underwear in the dresser next to Linda's slips. The
next big move will be to add my T-shirts. I just don't
want to rush things. Some may think 25-years is a long
time to make such a decision, but I just want to think
things through first. The next big move will be where to
put my socks. I hope to make a decision before the end
of the year.
I
am running out of memory once again on my computer.
I've thought about getting a new one, but this one belonged
to Linda and I hate to part with what it has come to
symbolize. It may be 26-years-old, but so many
memories have been shared with what has become the
one true relationship in my life.
Dating
continues to be a real challenge. A friend recommended a
book to read on the aging process and how to ask
someone out, but I get the shakes every time I go to the
library. I was told it would get easier, but 25
years seems to be stretching it a little. The same
friend said he doesn't think it is a good idea to bring
along Jack when going out, but he has really become
a part of me. I think it is important to find out
whether a gal I am dating likes dogs or not.
One
of the higher standards I have when dating is that a
woman has to be strong enough to crack open peanut
shells. My hands just can't do it like they use to and
using a small hammer to retrieve each peanut takes the
enjoyment out of what has become one of my favorite
pastimes. I usually carry a few with me in the car and
offer them to each female friend. Whether they can
quickly crack open the shell is a large factor in
whether we will have other things in common.
Well,
another day is almost over. I think I'll have a
Turkey TV dinner tonight. Meat loaf is getting a bit
boring. So far none of my dates knows I really don't
know how to cook. It's a matter of making sure each TV
dinner tray is discarded with the trash.
I have become quite a cook in my own way. Not
a single gal has complained yet. The only problem is
that perhaps each dinner is a bit too large for the gals
I invite over. They keep saying they are full after only
a few bites.
