Thangs Texans Know About Texas
- Armadillos sleep in the middle of the
road with their feet in the air.
- Roadrunners don't say "Beep
Beep"
- There are 5,000 types of snakes and
4,998 live in Texas.
- There are 10,000 types of spiders. All
10,000 live in Texas, plus a couple no one's seen before.
- If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls,
it bites.
- Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.
- There are valid reasons some people
put concertina wire around their house.
- You cannot find a country road without
a curve from corner to corner.
- A tractor is NOT an all-terrain
vehicle. They do get stuck.
- Onced and Twiced are words.
- It is not a shopping cart, it is a
buggy.
- Fire ants consider your flesh as a
picnic.
- Graduating 1st in your class means you
left in the 8th grade.
- Coldbeer is one word.
- People actually grow and eat okra.
- Texans really don't have an accent.
- When the world ends, only cockroaches
and mesquite trees will survive.
- Green grass DOES burn.
- When you live in the country, you
don't have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your gate in the
middle of the night.
- The sound of coyotes howling at night
only sounds good for the first couple of weeks.
- When a buzzard sits on the fence and
stares at you, it's time to go to the doctor.
- Fixinto is one word.
- A tank is a dirt hole in the ground
that holds water for irrigation.
- The word dinner is confusing. There's
only lunch and then there's supper.
- Tea is appropriate for all meals and
you start drinking it when you're 2.
- Backards and forards means I know
everything about you.
- 'Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning
"Did you eat?"
- You don't have to wear a watch because
it doesn't matter what time it is.
- You work until you're done or it's too
dark to see.
More Texanisms: You (we) know you're from
Texas if:
- You measure distance in minutes.
- You've ever had to switch from
"heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
- Stores don't have bags; they have
sacks.
- You see a car running in the parking
lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
- You use "fix" as a verb.
Example: I am fixin' to go to the store.
- All the festivals across the state are
named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
- You install security lights on your
house and garage and leave both unlocked.
- You carry jumper cables in your car
... for your OWN car.
- You know what "cow tipping"
and "snipe hunting" is.
- You only own four spices: salt,
pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
- You think everyone from a bigger city
has an accent.
- You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt
and boxer shorts.
- The local papers covers national and
international news on one page but requires 6 pages for local gossip and
sports.
- You think that the first day of deer
season is a national holiday.
- You know which leaves make good toilet
paper.
- You find 100ºF "a little
warm."
- You know all four seasons: Almost
summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.
- You know whether another Texan is from
east, west, north or south Texas as soon as they open their mouth.
- There is a Dairy Queen in every town
with a population of 1000 or more.
- Going to Walmart is a favorite
past-time known as " goin Wal-martin" or off to "Wally
World."
- You describe the first cool snap
(below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.
- A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda,
cola, or pop ... it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor.
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