Tuesday, May 17, 2005

6:30 a.m.

 

If there is one thing at this point and time I can actually look at and feel is a real sense of accomplishment, it is the memorial garden. So much of my heart has gone into it. It is a mirror of my love for Linda. Yesterday, I thought of how much she would love it. There is so much more to do, but I am pleased with how it is developing.

 

What if everyone built a memorial garden for a loved one gone? Imagine how beautiful towns and cities would be across the country. There is no greater way to honor and display an open love felt for someone than to build something with your very own hands. The garden is a canvass provided by God and the variety of plant colors are the various paints He has provided. My hands have been the different brushes used to present a piece of artwork for everyone to see. For a brief moment last night, I pictured Linda walking up to the house and telling me how much she admires what has been done. Its beauty reflects so much of who Linda was and how she still is the flower of my life as I have said so many times. I will nurture and take care of it in the coming months in honor of her memory.

 

I really miss her. She was such a little gal, but had a heart as large as the garden. She added so much to my life. Linda will still be with me in spirit as I see the garden grow and bloom. I will plant a weeping willow tree as symbolic of how many tears I have wept for her, but the beauty around it will also be a testimony of how her spirit still lives. The garden will be an open reflection of a love I have for the most beautiful woman in the world. I plan to have a special place for a rose bush. This was Linda’s favorite flower.

 

Sunday, Hospice has a memorial service for those who have died in the past months. I was given a small silk yellow rose yesterday by a friend, which I will wear on my suit lapel in honor of Linda’s memory when I attend on Sunday.

 

I simply want this to be the most beautiful garden I could possibly build. Perhaps in this way, it will help the healing process and losing her won’t be quite as painful.